Eat your way to success
09.25.09
Got an invite to a formal dinner? Here, learn impeccable dining skills and banish your etiquette anxieties away.
In the corporate world, you’ll have plenty of occasions to be invited to formal dinner. It could be a family dinner at your house, a business meeting with client, or, horrors, a meal interview.
Whatever the reason for the invite, know that you are being judged, weighed, and evaluated on your social competencies. How well, or how badly, you conduct yourself at the dinner table will earn you either plus or minus points as you pursue your objective— whether it is to get a promotion, a deal, or a new job.
So if your table manners need brushing up, do so now, and impress your superior, the client or the interviewer with your mastery of dining etiquette. Here’s what you need to know to pull off a successful meal performance.
Before anything else
Come in a business suit unless you were told otherwise. When in doubt, follow the host’s lead. Wait for him to sit first, open the menu first, order first, eat first. Once seated, put your napkin on your lap, and keep it there throughout the meal. Don’t put on the table your stuff, like bag, purse, papers, or keys.
When ordering
Don’t take too long in ordering. Make your choice and stick to it. Order light and don’t get the most expensive items. Take your cue from your host on the number of courses to get. Avoid messy or exotic dishes. Choose food that is easily cut and eaten with a knife and fork.
If you decide to order something hard to pronounce, point it out on the menu rather than risk making a mistake. If you are uncertain about an item, ask the server what it is. Better to find out beforehand than to regret it later. Don’t order alcoholic beverages so as not to impair your judgment.
The table setting
Wondering which glass is yours? The rule is: Your drinks are to the right of your dinner plate and your food is to the left. On which utensil to use, start with the outermost and work your way in toward your plate. The utensils above the plate are the dessert fork and spoon.
Used silverware should never be placed back on the table. A used spoon should not be left in a cup but placed on the saucer. A soup spoon can be left in a soup plate.
Knives and forks go back on the plate as soon as you have taken a bite and remain there until the next bite.
Place glassware or cup back in the same position after use. Untouched silverware is simply left on the table.
While you’re eating
When eating, do not bring your face toward the plate, but bring the utensil up to you. Utensils or fingers? If unsure which to use, opt for the silverware.
To eat soup, spoon the soup away from you, bring it to your mouth and sip from the side of the spoon. If the soup is too hot, let it cool on its own without blowing on it. Don’t slurp.
Don’t talk with your mouth full. Neither chew openmouthed nor make loud noises.
To cut your food, take the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand. Cut one piece at a time, lay the knife across the top of the plate with blade toward you, and move the fork to your right hand to eat.
To eat bread or rolls, break into bite- size pieces one at a time, butter individually before putting in your mouth.
Open sugar or sweetener packs three-fourths of the way across and place on the saucer or under the bread plate after emptying.
Do not season your food before you have tasted it.
If you can’t remove food caught between your teeth, excuse yourself during a pause in conversation and remove it in private.
Don’t lick your fingers or brush crumbs off the table with your hands. If you ate fruit with your hand, remove the pits by hand; otherwise, with fork. Never spit food into your napkin.
Food spills may be picked up with a piece of silverware and placed on the edge of your plate.
Discreetly remove unwanted food (gristle, bones, etc.) using the same utensil it went in with. Place the bit of food on the edge of your plate and, if possible, cover with some other food from your plate.